Hot Feet

My shoes on fire you know,

I guess I’ll have to go,

And put it out and wear my grin.

Oh what a mess I’m in!

Of the burning stench of rubber I do tire,

I guess I should have kept my foot out of the fire.

-To a certain mother who told me to keep my feet away from the propane heater.

-By Joshua

A Lament for my Green Beans

I sowed you with my own two hands
With dreams of how you’d grow
I planted you in fertile sands
But how was I to know
That when at last you’d had your chance
To sprout and live as healthy plants
You’d whither with the circumstance
And yield an empty row

I gave you everything you needed
Water, earth, and sun
But all my efforts went unheeded
Every single one
I hoed you, tilled you, kept you weeded
Watched and prayed and hoped and pleaded
But you gave up and quit, defeated
Withered, wasted, done

You left me kneeling, all alone
In shock and disbelief
You died away, unseen, unknown
No root, no stalk, no leaf
I never thought you’d be outgrown
But when I left you on your own
You perished under dirt and stone
Replacing hope with grief

Now all those dreams are crushed and gone
My joys and laughs so few
But time has passed, I’m moving on
I’ll sow and plant anew
I’ll see a perfect harvest yet
But never, in my heart, forget
The tragic loss and deep regret,
The memory of you

-Dedicated to the lost green beans of May, 2010-

-By Gideon

Out of Reach

Walking behind your shadow is tiring, my shadow has nothing to do.
No friends to play with and nothing new.
Would you let me just catch up with you?
Maybe our shadows will meet,
hug and shake hands, and maybe even a kiss that is sweet.
Maybe they could play together, and roll around in the grass,
run side by side as the long summers pass.
But no, your shadow is to long for me, walks to fast, I can't keep up.
My heart is too heavy, and just an empty cup.
And all that you said, was it all just fluff?
Just leave me behind, I'm lost in my stuff.
-By Joshua

Once Upon A Floor

Once upon a time, (I know you've heard that before!)
There lived a man who lived inside a house without a floor!
All he could walk on was dirt and debris,
even when he would sweep it so diligently.
Each day, when he woke, he would sweep with a broom.
He would mop with a mop, and would also vacuum!
But after trying in vain to keep his socks clean,
He had a bright thought, while eating a bean.
"If I dump a whole bunch of beans on the ground,
There'll be no more dirt or debris to be found!"
So, he dumped out the beans by the pint and the quart,
But they were so very hard that it gave him a wart.
He tried walking across his new bean covered floor,
But he couldn't stand straight, and it made his feet sore.
So, with feet sore and warted, he sat down and sighed,
he sniffled, and snuffled, and he nearly cried.
Then he started thinking like never before,
New thoughts of a way to get dirt off the floor.
Then suddenly, a brilliant thought ran through his mind,
perhaps he'd find boards made of pine and such kind,
And perhaps he could place those boards over the dirt
So his poor warted feet, when he walked, wouldn't hurt!
So, he ran for his shoes, and his coat by the door,
then he went out to find some boards for his floor.
He sawed down nine trees which he cut into lumber,
Then ate lunch, which was hash-browns and pickled cucumber.
After he finished, he felt better indeed,
so he loaded up all of the boards he would need.
He went home, got a hammer, and nails, and glue,
Then set right off to work to see what he could do.
In no time flat he had finished that floor,
And it shined and it sparkled like never before.
He stood back and viewed it from side to side,
And the work of his hands filled his heart with great pride.
He knew that he now would never have to
dirty his socks again, and so he sighed,"Phew!"
And never again did his feet become sore
When he walked in his house, for he now had a floor!

-By Gideon and Connie

The Great Dodge Lodge

There is a planet far away past the nearest star.
If you could see it you would find, it has a great big scar.
The giant scar, is not in fact a scar....it is a canyon!
And it is used for all the giant shuttle ships to land in.
So if you fly and zoom through space,
make sure you stop and visit this place.
In this valley, there is a lodge.
It is owned by a lodgeowner named Mr. Dodge.
He's a very nice fellow, so nice and clever,
his lodge can be very different however.
To this Planet-Scar Canyon Dodge Lodge I once went,
And it turned out to be quite a different event!
It’s not like any other lodge that you’ve seen
All of the walls there are painted lime green.
All the furniture there is not what it would seem,
And the roof is held up by one half-rotten beam!
The beam you see, had come from our earth,
and it had to be towed there because of it's girth.
On it's journey through space, it got stuck at one spot,
And remained there for weeks! (Which explains all the rot.)
But, besides the beam, and the walls of lime green,
The thing that they served there was a giant string bean.
They are served with a side of spaghetti dyed yellow,
And a microwaved, caramel dipped, chocolate marshmallow.
Now this I admit, was quite a good treat,
and mostly, I think, because it was sweet!
Another remarkable fact of this lodge
Is that every last room has a six-car garage!
And they also each boast a whirling, Snoozy Jacuzzi,
which I tried to try out, but it made me feel woozy.
On the first floor, I think, there's a large water slide
That's one-hundred feet tall and six-hundred feet wide!
And of the whole lodge, that is my favorite part,
it gives such a rush, that it nearly stops your heart.
At the gift shop, you can buy things like belts with big buckles,
And glasses, and candy, and gold honeysuckles!
So, despite all the downsides, there's more on the upside
And I think that is why you should try out this nice place to hide.
Yes, come to Dodge Lodge if you're ever in space,
But you might want to wear camouflage just in case!
-By Gideon and Connie

Year of the Bug

Lady bugs bite you know,
and how do I know?
Why, I was bit just a moment ago.
The lady bug quite slyly walked off the edge of her leaf,
then on to my finger and sunk in her teeth.
I knew then, but still in disbelief,
that below all her pretty colors, lies a cruel thief.
Such treachery I never suspected,
such vile beguile I never would have detected,
such an evil impostor, beyond all belief,
dwells on the underside of a leaf.
So little children, beware as you crawl into bed and fall fast asleep,
the lady bug waits for you on the edge of her leaf, watching you sleep.
-By Joshua

Midnight Smore Horse Wars

Why would I go to bed just to get bedbug bitten
When I know that there's so many rhymes to be written.
Then all of these rhymes would just go straight to waste
If I called it a day in such unthoughtful haste!
And don't say "But (nameless), please come to your senses,
If you don't sleep at all there will be consequences!"
I know what will happen if I do not sleep...
I will wake with a headache that aches 'til I weep.
And the rest of the day I well feel quite dreary.
That may be what you fear, see, but please hear thee my theory.
If the Lord puts these rhymes in my head, like I've said,
And I don't go to bed.. He'll watch over my head!
I believe this is true, in the depths of my soul!
Yes, I've heard of the spiritual fruit, Self Control,
And I don't think that my self control is at stake!
Why, it takes self control just to stay wide awake!
When my mind is this tired, I begin to think quicker
About how to write rhymes that will make people snicker.
When I feel this tired, my thought processor flows,
And I make up knew creatures like three-legged Shmoes.
Or no, wait! I mean Smores! Oh, I get so mixed up its
Insane, and it makes me just want to watch Muppets.
The North Smores fought wars, if my guess is not missed,
With the South Smores, for neither could quite coexist!
The North Smores rode horsed, Smore horses of course,
And waged war with South Smoredom; a sorcery force!
The South sorcerer Smores used a black magic source...
Their defeat of the North is a tale of remorse!
No wait! Smores have chocolate! Oh what am I saying?
The cattle are lowing, the chickens are laying!
I think that my mind is about to shut down!
I cannot think at all! Are my eyes turning brown!?!
The moral of all of this nonsense you've read
Is: Just go freakin sleep when it's late! Go to bed!
-By Gideon

Moonshine

The moon said to the sun, "Can I borrow your shine?"
The sun said to the moon, "Anytime!"
The sun said to the moon, "Now can I take some back?"
The moon said, "Sure!" And the crescent became half black.
-By Joshua

The Fish Who Wore Pants

"Would you dance, would you dance?
I say, would you dance with a fish who wears pants?"
I said, "No." And he said, "Would you give me a chance if I was from France?"
"I don't care if you are from France, or that you dance in pants,
I cannot give you a chance!"
"Would you give me a glance
if I wore a shiny belt and buckle on my dancing pants?"
"No, I don't care if you wear shiny, buckled, dancing pants in France,
with you I will not dance!"
"What if I wear polka dots on my dancing pants in France?"
"No. I don't care if you have a polka dot grin,
dancing pants, or a single chin,
I cannot dance with you in your pants from France!"
"Then there is no chance?"
"No," I said. "Swim home, please leave me alone!"
With that the fish swam home sad, and I was left all alone,
with no one to dance with, I had gotten my wish.
It might have been better had I dared to dance with the fish.
-By Joshua

A Green Bean

Do you like to eat green beans?
So do I! Yes, by all means!
I love to eat them with spaghetti!
To eat them, I am always ready!
I love them so! I think I'm hooked!
I like them raw, I like them cooked!
When I see green beans, I start to stutter...
I like them with pepper, or salt, or butter.
I ate one off of the bush where it hung!
It tasted so good, oh so good to my tongue!
Green beans are delicious; they taste oh so good!
If you'd try them, you'd like them! I know that you would!
-By Gideon

The Sunny Day Goat

Living in the pasture today is sweet,
I eat, and I eat, and I eat, until my belly reaches my feet.
And the kids pet me sweetly, to my relief,
like the dandilion leaf.
I rest upon my bed of weeds to sleep,
and dream of endless summers butting sheep.
Running through fields of daisies,
entertaining the thought of a million maybes,
and hoping never to get rabies.
I hope to never get cockaburs in my beard,
all in all you may think it weird,
but I dance to the beat of a different tune,
and rejoice in my meadows of alfalfa June.
By-Joshua



You may also like: The Rainy Day Goat

Slum Gum

One evening, as I brushed my teeth,
I knelt to see my sink beneath.
My sink beneath was often shiny,
But other times was gross and slimy.
This time I thought, "Oh what a bum!"
For underneath was stuck some gum.
I thought, "Now how did that get there?
I chewed no gum! This isn't fair!"
So I took that gum that had headed south,
And stuck that gum into my mouth.
It tasted good, it tasted sour,
The flavor was green apple power.
But then, a thought erased my grin...
I'd have to brush my teeth again!
And then I noticed the gum was sugarless.
Among men, I was most blessed.
But then a thought worse than the other:
Perhaps this gum belonged to my mother!
Perhaps she'd stuck the gum beneath
To chew before she brushed her teeth!
She said it was jumped on by a frog,
And later chewed on by our dog.
This memory made me sick,
I needed to spit it out quick.
But as I tried to quickly spit,
I accidentally swallowed it!
For it was pooped on by our parakeet,
And later walked on with bare feet.
I quickly checked the sink to see whether shiny or slimy...
To my extreme horror, it was very grimy.
Then I turned green, and very quickly,
My stomach started feeling sickly.
I prayed my heart to be brave.
I knew my stomach He would save.
And then He did! (I knew He would)
My stomach started feeling good.
And since that point of feeling ill,
I've never chewed gum, and I never will!
Out of my stomach it did spill,
And I put it under the window sill.
Then I remembered, and felt like a freak,
I'd stuck that gum there just last week!

The moral of this tale, I think,
If you find gum beneath your sink,
Just throw it away before you chew
The gum that could be the end of you.
By-Connie, Joshua, and Gideon

My Lucky Duck Day

One morning, out of bed I rolled,
Onto the floor, the floor so cold.
And yet, why I asked this story of old,
This floor so icy, and resplendently bold.
Maybe I should invest in a rug,
I thought as I pulled my socks on with a tug.
But those socks turned out to be worse than bare feet,
For later, they caused me to slip on the street!
Then I met a man who offered a plan,
He bought me some shoes and a brand new van!
Now things were looking up from this mornings cold floor!
Why, if it continued this way, I might soon start to soar!
And just when I thought things could not get more right,
A kind lady strolled up, and she gave me a kite!!!
I flew this kite out the window of my van,
And Donald Trump said he was my greatest fan!
He told me to visit him later that day,
And go out for dessert. (He said he would pay)
I told him, "I'd love to! I eat like an ox!"
But then I remembered my slippery socks...
He then gave me 10 diamond dog collars,
And Bill Gates offered me 10 billion dollars!
I don't know why he offered such a stash,
But I told him I couldn't take all of his cash.
Then he said "All my cash? No, not even near!
I just feel like seeing some cash disappear!"
Then all the presidents called me at noon
And offered me title and deed to the moon!
Now this offer I simply couldn't resist,
Moon farming, you see, was on top of my list!
So I went to the moon and I planted a crop
Of large moonbeans. They're used to make rare soda pop.
But the moon was full of Razor Red Hens
That nested in the footsteps of rocket flying men.
But the eggs, oh the eggs, they really were something,
So I made up my mind to give up and go hunting.
But after awhile, I saw something quite red,
It flew by, and it dropped an egg right on my head!
And since the moon was so cold
The egg froze long before it got mold.
And then I drowned in a river of cream...
But then, I woke up! It was all just a dream!!!
-By Gideon, Joshua, and Connie

Peculiar Trout

There's a river by the ocean
Where the fish swim in constant motion.
They swim in big circles, and giant squares.
They host chili feeds, and great big fairs.
They're quite an unknown type of trout
That you have never heard about.
They have purple spots and blue-green fins.
They have rainbow teeth, and iridescent grins.
In all the land they're known quite well,
For their silly colors and peculiar smell.
To catch them is against the law,
Except with bait like cabbage-slaw!
The best bait though is marmalade wood.
Just don't let the game wardens catch you. They're up to no good.
If they catch you, they might lock you away,
Or make you do push-ups for the rest of the day.
Or make you run 'til you collapse,
Then stuff your mouth with Mac-Snack wraps!
Then they'll wrap you up in barbwire bins
And bunnies will be stuffed right in.
But even though the penalty's stiff,
Every very dark night, there will be a large skiff!
Most skiff drivers, sadly, are not very smart,
And most game wardens catch them and tear them apart.
There is a river that flows with fish
And every angler gets his wish!
-By Joshua, Connie, and Gideon

The Rainy Day Goat

My people keep me out in the rain to keep me clean,

if you ask me I think it's a little mean.

In their house it is bright and hot.

Standing out here I think there is something they forgot.

Why, if they let me in, I'll run and play all day,

and eat their books, after I stomp on them, with muddy, poopy hay.

And when I'm done with that,

I'll jump in the air and headbutt the cat.

I'll run down the halls tearing the walls,

chew on the couch, and pop their exercise balls.

I'll climb on the table, and eat all their bread,

if you ask me, I think those people are all overfed.

They'll be glad I thought of that,

I'll keep them from growing to fat.

But you see, that all looks good to me,

there's no reason that I can see.

So in these thoughts in the rain, I wear my grin,

I can't understand why they won't let me in!

-By Joshua

Leap Frog

The first frog said, "I'll jump over you."
The second frog said, "How could this be true?
I'm twice as big as you."
The first frog said, "Over is under, and under is over.
If you even try to hop on the clover
and turn it over, I'll be on the under of the over."
The second frog said, "Now this is nonsense.
Up is not down and down is not up."
The first frog said, "Why you silly lump,
I look down and down looks up.
Life is backwards for me,
while I'm sitting on top of you, you're sitting on top of me."
The second frog said, "Now, now, your making no sense.
If you ask me, you're a little dense.
Can a frog sit on top of the bottom of the fence?"
The first frog spoke, "By no means. Do you know anything at all?
With my sticky hands, I'm a tree frog, and you are about to fall.
-By Joshua

Woe of the Doe

One day, as the sunshine shone,
I walked a lonely road alone,
Until I found one to bear my load
Along the summer solaced road.
The one that bore my load was kind,
He brought joy to my heart, and peace to my mind.
It’s just too bad that I was blind…
I looked at him, his face I could not find!
And then I chanced to stub my toe
Upon the hoof of a bypassing doe!
The doe was nibbling a nearby flower.
Her mood towards me by then was sour.
I didn’t want to start a fight,
And so I turned and fled from sight.
And the one to me who was so kind
Kicked that ole’ deer in the behind.
But that poor doe, what had it done?
It never had hurt anyone!
Until it leaped upon his lap
And jumped upon the poor old sap.
Then, the man who’d been so kind that day
Disowned the deer, and strode away!
-By Joshua and Gideon

Little Monsters

I looked into my microscope one night
and saw what caused me fear and delight,
but little, tiny monsters wanting to fight.
They looked up to me and waved their little, tiny fists,
and shook them, and took them, and threw little, tiny fits.
I laughed and I smiled all to myself,
and put them back on my dusty, old shelf.
-By Joshua

Diary of Winter

October is Over

When everything turns brown and red and gold,
when everything turns frosty and cold,
when the little bunny eats her last little clover,
I'm sure glad...October is over.

November has Ended

With all her sharp edges, and an ice crystal wreath,
winter first sinks in her cruel jagged teeth.
With snowmen in snowboards, I befriended.
I'm sure glad...November has ended.

December I Remember

When we are in the depths of frozen time,
all the snow grows deeper, and the sun refuses to shine,
when the fire in the stove burns bright, and our only light an ember,
I'm sure glad...December I remember.

January is Imaginary

If I just close my eyes and let it pass by,
can I hibernate, or grow wings, lift up and fly,
to somewhere warmer, on the wings of a golden canary?
I'm sure glad...January is imaginary.
-By Joshua

The Flame

I am a little flame,
I was born just a few minutes ago.
I hope that my light brings you warmth,
and helps your heart to grow.
I'm just a small flame,
but I'm doing my part,
to bring light to this world,
and warmth to your heart.
When my candle is gone,
and the night is well spent,
you might not remember
that I came and went.
Just a part of your life,
for a very short time, shining bright,
I hope that you'll remember,
I was a candle in your night.
-By Joshua

The Wishing Fish

I'm the wishing fish.
I live in a small plastic dish.
It gets lonely in here until someone makes a wish.
They wish for cars and castles, great fortune and great fame,
to be kings and queens of their own islands, it's always the same.
And the reason why this is done?
Because the only wish they get is one.
I cannot wish for myself, or I would wish myself free.
My family in the wild I am longing to see.
So, living in this little plastic dish,
will anyone make a wish
for a wishing fish?
-By Joshua